It’s springtime in North Carolina and after two years of living here I’m just now hearing about how wicked the spring storms can be. I’ve never thought twice about destructive weather since leaving Florida where chaos and loss is rampant every hurricane season. 

Last week I was in my office on the phone with a friend when the house shook beneath my feet. I jumped up and ran down the stairs with Alex to discover that a fully grown tree fell on our property, skimmed the edge of the house and demolished everything in the backyard. The storm carried on and sirens screamed through the city as I stared out the sliding glass door, not shocked, but stunned. Our belongings were unrecognizable, completely demolished within a split moment. All we could see of the grill was one silver knob poking through branches and leaves… it takes a lot to crush a grill, of all things. 

 The tree covered the same place I spend my slow mornings reading while the dogs sunbathe, where I would normally be writing this blog. It’s a daunting thought to realize that it was only a few yards away from falling directly into the rooms we were both in at the time.

Strangely (or not), when this happened my mom was visiting from Florida, we were scheduled to leave the following day for a trip to Pennsylvania, and I was in the middle of preparing for an important workshop at 7pm. The tree fell at 4pm. 

I see this situation as a prime example of an Upper Limit – a term coined by Gay Hendricks that describes our subconscious threshold for success, love and joy. When we start to break through this glass ceiling and experience more, something sabotages us (which is usually self induced) to remain in the territory of success, love or joy we are familiar and comfortable with. I believe this theory took form that day, but one could also view it as an attempt from the devil himself to prevent people from taking their power back through the teachings of the workshop. Evil will keep us as far away from our human nature as possible because when everything else falls away, we are all love at the core. 

But the Upper Limit/evil spirits/forces of nature held no power that day – the workshop went on and amazing people ignited their fire for a FUN life. Magic and transformation has been happening ever since. 

But the next morning the sadness hit; sadness that the precious oasis I spent hours every day in was gone during the most beautiful time of year, sadness at the way my dogs gazed with longing and confusion at their yard, sadness that trees had died and there was a big hole in the forestry that we can now see and hear the busy street through. With everything else going on that week I felt like I was being pulled in five different directions with no time to process or decompress and it left me feeling heavy.

That evening Alex, my mom and I were hanging out after dinner scrolling through pictures of the damage before sending them to the insurance adjuster – something with no apparent potential to be fun. Something caught my eye and I paused on one particular picture and zoomed in to see my mom awkwardly pressing her nose up against the screen door. She had a a Cindy Loo-Hoo look while staring intently into the camera with sincere eye contact. Her silly, inner child was shining through and the juxtaposition next to the fallen tree disaster instantly struck our funny bones. We laughed for at least 10 minutes until tears streamed down our faces. 

You know that kind of laugh where every time you try to stop you laugh even harder? Where eventually you forget the joke and are just laughing at the way the other person is laughing? That kind. The best kind of belly aching, uncontrollable laughter.  

It was precisely the healing, spiritual experience I needed that day. The weight of the week not only lifted off my shoulders, but off of my heart and the next day I was climbing and exploring the fallen tree like a child who doesn’t yet bear the burdens of life. Scientifically speaking, laughter lowers stress levels by increasing and decreasing heart rate and blood pressure while stimulating circulation and muscle relaxation. Spiritually speaking, it massages the mind, body and soul.

I realized at that moment that I hadn’t laughed that hard in months, and that I used to laugh like that every couple days when I was younger. How is it that I’m happier and more fulfilled than ever, and I’m not laughing nearly as much as when I was broke and lonely? I look back at that season of my life, when I worked on my feet 10 hours a day and numbed out with alcohol and sex in the evenings, and yes I had mental breakdowns but… I don’t remember feeling heavy or anxious for longer than a few moments at time. Somehow life didn’t bog me down even when it was heavy. 

I understand now that this was because there was a swirling harmony of connection and play intertwined with my everyday life. 

At the salon I joked with people and humors of all sorts. The long hours flew by as they shared their sacred stories and spilled secrets. At home I engaged in light hearted fun with my roommate and our collective of friends that met and mingled regularly in our space. At that stage in my life there was so much social interaction, silliness and laughter that even the heaviest of days felt light. 

What if I extracted that gold and merged it with my present day life? I’ve learned how to love deeper and shine brighter… how much better could life get if I learn to laugh harder? 

When we’re laughing we are fully engaged in the moment and enjoying ourselves instead of overthinking about what we look like or how we’re being perceived in a social setting. Laughter brings our walls of self protection down and invites the inner child out to play. Laughter is healing, laughter is power. We can do anything if we are laughing our way there… but it’s hard to laugh alone. As adults, laughter requires coming together and surrendering. It requires trusting God like children enjoying an amusement park under watch of their parents. 

We are safe to enjoy the little moments. 

We are capable of having a light heart and still getting everything done.

Laughter is a special gift, a tool to navigate the ups and downs of life – it’s our God given right to laugh our way there. 

What do you need to surrender in order to laugh harder this week? 

Cheers to your next belly laugh

Xo – Kari

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The Hey Queen Blog

A collective of soulful stories and encouraging letters written to anchor women with big dreams into the joy

of today while inspiring tomorrow!