Hey Queen,
Read this when you’ve been learning and growing… a lot.
I wish we talked about it more.
The entanglement of grief and growth.
The world is on fire for growth these days because the secret is out – everyone has the ability to create new realities by harnessing the power of the mind and tapping into the infinite wisdom that’s become widely accessible.
This infinite opportunity we’re discovering is so dazzling that we often completely bypass the more raw and uncomfortable parts of the process, particularly – grief.
People typically associate grief with the death of loved ones, and although this may seem unrelated, it’s completely relevant to personal growth.
Here’s what I mean and how it has unfolded for me this year:
Lately I’ve noticed the dust settling and a new person looking back at me in the mirror:
I am not as easily overwhelmed or rattled by the small stuff.
I’ve learned how to draw the line between my own emotions and someone else’ s instead of getting lost in them.
I no longer feel guilty about fulfilling my own desires or needs.
I recognize when I’m out of balance and know how to fill my cup.
I’ve gone from solo-preneur to entrepreneur and am developing different skills.
In short, I’ve changed a lot in 2025 and I’m proud of the person I’ve become and the life I’m building.
But before I could recognize and articulate all of this, there was a season of death.
Death to the habits, places and relationships that had become a beautiful home.
Death to the version of me who played small because it felt safe.
Death to the version of me who could easily relate to most girls her age, didn’t carry the responsibility of leadership and never questioned what she believes in.
During the months these parts of me were dying, I felt immense tension.
Like water boiling until the kettle screams.
I was the one screaming, first with overwhelm, then frustration, then for help.
One day I asked myself the same question my therapist always asks me – ”If your body could speak, what would it say?”
The answer was help.
I felt disgusted. Help? Why help?
Because we’re fighting all alone, it replied.
This is how it can feel when there is unmet grief, when you have rushed straight into the next chapter without finishing the last.
It’s like trying to fall in love without processing and releasing your last relationship – messy and disorienting and quick to fuck up something great.
But when you do give the things you’re shedding space to be felt and processed, you can release them fully and free fall into the next era.
You can fully commit to who you want to be and the life you want to live without feeling tethered to the past – the tethers being the root of the tension that manifests as heavy emotions, limiting beliefs, self sabotaging decisions, and more.
So what do you say, let’s grieve, shall we? It’s not so bad. This process may take an hour, an afternoon, or it may come and go for an extended period of time like stereotypical grief. Follow your flow.
- Recognize how you’re changing and what it’s time to let go of (journal prompt)
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- What beliefs, stories, traits, habits, relationships, hopes, etc. do not belong in your future?
- Reminisce on the memories
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- Look at photos, close your eyes and go back into the moment, feel all the emotions as deeply as you can and hold a posture of gratitude. Be fully present, take your time and follow wherever you feel led.
- If it feels right, create a memorial for fond remembrance
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- Scrapbooks and picture frames, “Look How Far We’ve Come Board” (flip side of a vision board, my favorite), or simply setting memorabilia on a shelf.
- Stay in touch
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- When past versions of you show up and react in certain situations, seek to understand and console them instead of getting frustrated. Ex: if you accidentally snap at someone, inquire about what part of you is angry and why instead of shaming yourself.
- When you fall into an old habit, look at it as a reminder why you do things differently now and pivot instead of shaming yourself.
This process doesn’t come from a book or expert speaker, these are just things that have helped me on my growth journey, and I hope they help you, too.
Make the process your own and remember that if you’ve been learning a lot lately and have also been feeling a lot of tension or big emotions, it may be because you haven’t fully processed and released some things.
The sooner you make space to grieve, the sooner you’ll feel fully at home in your next era. Enjoy.
Xoxo – Kari